Tonight is the hall Halloween party. Right now, everyone is running up and down the halls, going a little crazy getting their costumes together, coordinating with friends and boyfriends. Aubrey and my roommate are going as Siamese twins, which is sort of adorable, and I'm dressed as Cinderella.
I don't really like Halloween. Costumes and big jewelry and thick black eyeliner are just another collegiate excuse to get drunk, and honestly, the idea of putting on a facade in the name of celebration is odd to me. Damon came over for a few minutes tonight, to say hello, and, more specifically, to say goodbye. He and Josh are going to Nebraska for the weekend, probably to do some really awesome things and have a wonderful time. I'll still miss them.Tomorrow is the KU Homecoming football game, which just means Lawrence is going to be chalk full of people and noise and booze. I find myself feeling a little like what I want to do right now is curl up in a ball. I want to be away from people for a few minutes, take a rain check on all of my responsibilities, and recharge my batteries. But I know my needs are in second place. So here we go.
God is never gentle with me. This week, He really laid out Abraham's call in front of me. I feel my body rebelling against the idea of dropping everything for God's call, but I know that I won't have to deliberate if that's what he decides. Maybe this latent dull mood is from that feeling of helplessness, and lack of control.
Genesis 12:1-3
The Lord had said to Abram,"Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."
What strikes me about this passage most is God's statement: "You will be a blessing."
Am I a blessing to those around me? By my faith, actions, and love, am I blessing those around me, encouraging them, and allowing them to feel welcome and loved?
What you do today counts forever. I know God's doing a work in me right now, and I know that if I listen, and follow, and act according to His will, my life will reflect that. But sometimes I'm human, and I don't want to listen properly, because I'm a child, and I want to do things that aren't best for me or the people around me because they're fun. I need to set aside what I expect of myself and reach for God's standards, regardless of my attitude. Because when I'm closest to God, and most in tune with His perfect will for my life, my attitude isn't a problem.
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